i used to feel sorry for married people...

with brad being gone for 2 days it got me thinking.  first about what if i lost him, which sent me into a tizzy and caused me to eat the rest of the chocolate covered banana bites.  second, what would it be like if i hadn't found him.  and third, remembering the good ole days when i was single. 

for me, being single had many seasons.  the first was when i became single the summer all of my friends got married.  oh carrie you're so dramatic, it wasn't ALL of them.  whatever dude, it was all of them.  let's call that delightful season hell winter.  next came spring.  i started feeling like maybe there was something to this singleness thing.  watching all of my friends go through newly married issues, i felt pretty good about my simple single life.  i didn't have anyone i had to work on communication with nor did i have to learn how to live with a farty boy.  and then came summer!  oh how i loved being single then.  the shopping sprees with my tax return, the girls nights out, the making fun of married people because they had no life and looked boring.   boys were irrelevant to me because i had myself and great friends.  and then came that first chill of autumn.  *dramatic first leaf falling*  i started to get bored with all the freedom.  and then the freedom started to feel lonely.  i didn't have anyone to make decisions with and that made me feel lost.  and then some months later i met brad thayer who didn't really want to date me and the rest is history! 

i remember singing the songs about jesus being the only thing i needed.  i would try so hard to sing that with my whole heart.  i was trying to sing it so that my desire would go away.  now i understand those lyrics differently.  it's in those desires and in those prayers that are yet to be answered, that jesus is what i need.  i'm not sure he was ALL i needed, because there were a lot of great people/things that helped me get through. but i found those things either came from him or pointed me back to him.  whatever season you are in should be one that you pour your heart and life into.  there will always be something you are waiting for.